Fast Food Should Be Made Illegal

Okay, everyone knows that fast food is bad for you. But how bad? Sure, there's a hell of a lot of calories in even the smallest cheeseburger, but even that doesn't do the evils of fast food justice. So how bad? Try illegal substance bad.

Some may read that line and think I'm off my rocker. While the majority of the time that may be true, I think I'm on to something here. Let's look at what fast food does to you. Fast food is generally consumed very quickly, no one ever wants to sit around to enjoy that crap. On the way down, it's the best feeling in the world. For like ten, twenty minutes maybe you feel like you can do anything, like you can conquer the world. Then - the bad feeling sets in. For hours, there's indigestion, heartburn, and just generally feeling like a piece of meat let to rot out in the sun. But then, after a few days, you find yourself in the same fast food line getting the same crap. Why? Because, for those 10-20 minutes, you feel like you can conquer the world. Try going a week without it, you start thinking about the fast food all the time. "Maybe I'll get the Angry Whopper today, even though I know I'm going to feel like crap... it tastes sooooo good." (side note: has Burger King really run out of burger ideas where they have to add emotions to the beginning of burgers and market them as something new?)

Reading through all these symptoms of a McJunkie made me realize that there's a distinct correlation between this and one other addictive substance. Cocaine. It makes you feel indestructible for a very short time, and then makes you feel like a strung out loser for hours. I know it sounds crazy, but all of the leading causes of death in the United States are linked to obesity related illnesses: heart disease, diabetes, and some forms of cancers. So why isn't anything being done about this? Because no one cares enough, and the McDonald's of the world have very powerful lobbies, a la Phillip Morris, to make it seem much less of a problem than it actually is.

Fight the addiction: Put the burger down.